Emilia G. Carlson

Emilia Garcia Carlson, of Granville, OH, and formerly of Fanwood, NJ, Plainfield, NJ, and Staten Island, NY, died peacefully, with family close by, on April 6, 2024, at age 102.

Born on November 29, 1921, in Staten Island, NY, to Gertrude Stirn Garcia and Alvaro Manuel Garcia, Emilia grew up in a house on Fingerboard Road, next door to her beloved paternal grandmother, Marie Garcia (“Lita”) and her paternal grandfather’s niece from Spain, Nina Granda.  With German and Spanish-born family close by, including her two maternal grandparents, she spoke German and Spanish before English, the possible source of her enduring interest in languages. She sustained a lifelong love of “the island” and used to joke that she’d like her ashes scattered over the side of the Staten Island Ferry.

She graduated from Dongan Hall (now part of Staten Island Academy) in 1939.   Accomplishments included being president of her senior class, though she was quick to point out that she was one of four in her class. She went on to graduate from the College of William and Mary, majoring in philosophy.  In 1941, while still in college, she met Carl Carlson of Washington, DC, in Bay Head, NJ, when on a family vacation.  In bedtime stories to his young children, Carl would claim that as an inexperienced swimmer, he was floundering in the ocean when a beautiful woman swam out to rescue him, tossing him the life preserver that hung for years in their garage. They married in a small ceremony in her family home on Christmas Eve 1942 (a spur-of-the-moment change of wedding date due to his wartime military obligations). Until the end of the war they lived in a small cottage in Petersburg, VA, where Carl served in the Quartermaster Corps at Camp Lee. There they forged lifelong friendships with several other young couples, and welcomed two daughters, first Dagmar and then Linda.

After the war, Emilia and Carl and their daughters lived with her parents on Staten Island, and Carl went to work for Emilia’s father’s family business, Garcia y Vega cigars. They moved in 1948 to their own home in Plainfield, NJ.  In 1956, with two more children in the family (Christie and Carl)  they bought a larger home on Hillside Ave.  Emilia stayed there until 2013 when she moved to an apartment in Fanwood, NJ.  She dearly loved her Hillside Avenue home, but easily adjusted to, and delighted in, the convenience of apartment living, with walking distance to restaurants and a coffee shop and across the street from a NJ Transit rail station, offering easy access to NY.  At age 97, she left NJ for an assisted living apartment in Granville, OH, near her daughter Dagmar. 

Emilia was also the owner of a rustic log cabin by a small lake in northern NJ.  Her parents had bought a one-bedroom cabin there in the 1930s, and with a growing family, Emilia and Carl bought their own larger cabin in the early 1950s.  A valued and respected member of the close-knit community of Mountain Springs, she loved the simple pleasures of being in the woods, sitting on the screened porch with the NY Times and coffee in the morning, and with the sounds of frogs and katydids in the background in the evening. She relished Jersey tomatoes and corn on the cob, chatting with other community members on the beach, daily swims,  and welcoming visiting family and friends, always cheerfully and willingly making room for one more.

Emilia was a gracious and generous hostess, whether at her home in Plainfield or her cabin, and was an excellent cook.  Her many interests included tennis (both playing and watching), photography, birds, movies, books, poetry, theater, music, and opera.  She liked a good Scrabble game and often used a pen for crossword puzzles.  She loved to travel and was a wonderful and congenial traveling companion, with her good sense of humor, enthusiasm, interest in people and places, curiosity, wealth of knowledge, and natural ability to roll with the punches.   It gave her pleasure to share her experiences with friends and family through postcards. Her grandson Stephen said “she always elevated postcard writing into an art form.”

She was an active volunteer, whether with PTA, Friends of the Plainfield Public Library, or the local chapter of the American Association of University Women.  Even when not doing good works through an organization, she was continually reaching out to help family and friends, and sometimes strangers. When she fell and broke her ankle in NY City in 1986 and ended up in Bellevue Hospital for a week, she befriended her young roommate Clara and later offered her a room in her Plainfield home when she was pregnant and with no place to live.  They remained friends for life.

She pursued a master’s degree in Spanish literature at Montclair State College in the 1980s, but gave it up because of caregiving responsibilities, first for her husband Carl in the last few years of his life  and then her beloved Nina, who came to live with her in Plainfield until she died at 100.

In celebration of Emilia’s 100th birthday in 2021, family and friends sent messages of thanks.  Many remarked on her kindness, open heart, wit, grace, giving spirit, warmth, hospitality, positive and upbeat attitude, welcoming hugs, and wisdom. Others called her every family member’s “greatest cheerleader”.  One thanked her for instilling a love of poetry. Another said a childhood gift of Rachel Carson’s Silent Spring woke him up to environmental issues and influenced the direction of his life’s work. One said she inspired her to try new recipes, travel more, and visit historic places.  She was called “the rock and optimist who helped [struggling loved ones] feel that everything would work out in the end” and  a “magical presence” at holiday time. There were many thanks for treasured memories, both of times at the NJ cabin, and of Christmas Day smorgasbords bringing together extended family.  Several expressed deep appreciation for her role as a surrogate mother and a support when they lost their own mothers too young.

She nurtured and treasured many friendships from all parts of her life and continued to form new ones into her 90s. She was devoted to her family, and they returned her love.

She is survived by children Dagmar Farris (Jon) of Granville, Ohio; Linda Carlson (Larry Himelfarb) of Takoma Park, MD; Christie Carlson (Phil Kasden) of Arlington, MA; and Carl J. Carlson Jr. (Nanci) of Fountain Hills, AZ;  grandchildren Rachel Farris Mattison (Michael) of Springfield, OH, Christie Farris Oberg (Johan) of St. Paul, MN, Eric Carlson Himelfarb (Michaela) of High Falls, NY; Mia Lu Carlson of Fountain Hills, AZ; and Kiri Li Carlson of Boston, MA; and great-grandchildren Lucas, Zachary and Hannah Mattison; Linnea, Oliver and Maia Oberg; and Raina and Tierre Himelfarb.

She is predeceased by her parents, a younger brother, Alvaro Garcia, Jr., who died in infancy, a younger sister, Dorothea, who died at age 2, and her husband Carl J. Carlson (died 1991).  In 2023 she mourned the loss of both her younger brother Edmund Stirn Garcia and grandson Stephen Farris.

Emilia’s high school teacher, Barbara Jarrell, who remained a lifelong friend and inspiration, wrote the following perceptive and prophetic poem for Emilia’s high school yearbook. It captures some of the qualities that endeared her to so many people.

With poise and calm serenity she wends her quiet way,

No adverse winds or threatening clouds her steady course will stay,

For there is strength within her soul and power to attain,

The best that can be won along life’s ever winding lane,

Of mirth and laughter, loyal friends, and tasks for heart and brain,

Which fill her days with joyful zest which ne’er will fade or wan

To celebrate and honor Emilia’s life, all are encouraged to send a postcard, share a favorite book or poem, embrace positivity, host a meal for friends or family,  and ride the Staten Island Ferry when in NY.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to Ohio’s Hospice of Central Ohio,https://www.ohioshospice.org/newark/

Ashes will be inurned at Moravian Cemetery on Staten Island, at a date to be determined.

McPeek Hoekstra Hoskinson Funeral Home is honored to care for Emilia and her family.  Please visit www.McPeekHoekstra.com to share a special memory or leave a message of condolence.

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